On The Way
by Sammmmmmmmmmmmmmmy
Summary: "If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back!" With that Sam knew, there was no turning back. Set directly after John closes the door on Sam. Some angst, it's Sam's POV so of course:) Rated T for a little bit of language


**"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back!" And once that door slammed shut Sam knew, there was no turning back.**

 **Set direct after John closed the door on Sam.**

 **This is probably a one shot and it'll be kinda angsty, set from Sam's POV so duh:)**

 **I don't own Supernatural or any of the characters. I'm just playing in their sandbox.**

 **Please enjoy, and if you do, review if you want. Even if it's criticism, I can take it.**

Sam's POV

"If you walk out that door, don't you ever come back!"

Sam took one last look behind him as the door closed, he could see Dean almost hidden behind his father, and while Dean's eyes were sad and glistening, all Sam could see in his dad's eyes was anger, there was something else in them too, but Sam couldn't, or didn't exactly want to, place it.

All he knew was that, there was no turning back. No more running into the safety of his big brothers arms. No more long nights laughing and drinking under the stars with the one person who he truly felt whole with. At least, not for a few years.

If only it didn't have to be this way. Had his father been proud and sent him away with a sad smile as most parents did, he wouldn't have to be alone. Dean would have driven him, even though he'd be upset, maybe a little angry his little brother is going away, he'd have wanted to give him one last ride in the Impala for who knows how long. Big brothers are cool that way. At least, Sam's big brother is.

But now he's alone and all he wanted was Dean by his side.

This is what he's always wanted though, to go to school, to have friends, to have a somewhat safe life away from the things that go bump in the night. But of course it won't be all butterflies, he'll be smart, because that's how he trained himself to be, he'll make salt lines, holy water just in case, keep his favorite sawed-off under his pillow like his brother because he promised Dean he would be safe.

And a promise for Sam is like a vow, especially when it's his hero he's making a promise to.

So now he's gotta walk to the nearest rental car place, because a good start to a normal life is definitely hot wiring a transport vehicle. Well, the hunting life has it's perks sometimes but he's here, walking away from that life, so if that means ignoring some natural instincts that were drilled into his head since he was nine years old well, it's gotta be done.

Of course it raining today of all days. In the back of Sam's mind he wants to run to Dean, hit him with those famous puppy dog eyes, and let his brother drive him. He wants to apologize for letting it end like this, but he looks back at his brother's cherished 67 Chevy and keeps walking. No need to make it easier on himself for separating from the only person who ever made him feel safe just by standing there.

So he'll go, alone, for the sake of deserving to be alone as he feels he does today.

Finally Sam stops at "Paul's Car Rental". It was a long walk but he already knew the way. He had been planning to leave and he knew, if it didn't end well, he'd need a vehicle. And this is the best way to get one. The only place for miles other than a bus station and no thanks. He's rather not ride with strangers, only had to do that a couple times in his whole life and he never liked it. So he took out some money he's been saving up from part time jobs he's gotten in between hunts and walked into the building.

"One rental please." He said with a dimpled smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Alright kid, we have a Toyota and a Chevy, take your pick." Said the man with a southern-ish accent. His name tag read "Ricky" and his eyes read utterly bored.

Though Sam knew it wouldn't be the same model and even if it was it wouldn't be the same at all, he picks the Chevy. Better than a Toyota anyway.

"That'll be 18 dollars an hour, 10 bucks deposit and 10 more when ya drop it off at another rental. Now I just need to see your drivers licence and you're good to go kid. Oh and any damage to the car will cost ya extra cash."

With that Sam thanked the man and left.

The car was nice, clean, but Sam knew he'll grow to hate it just because it wasn't the four doors and roof he knew since birth and grew to be his home on wheels but most of all he'll hate it because Dean won't be next to him, singing metallica off key or teasing him because he snores or teaching him all of the words to a song he couldn't care less about but enjoying it, simply because he was next to Dean in the passengers seat and in those moments nothing else mattered in the world.

Man, he's gonna miss those moments.

Sam only has four hours to go but he knows he's gotta stop and rest or he might swerve off the highway. So he pulls over, deciding to save his money instead of use it for a no-tell motel. Besides there's nothing wrong with sleeping under the stars one last time before his college life starts.

It was hard to get comfortable but once he was he could close his eyes and imagine sleeping in the Impala, he could imagine that Dean was in the front seat driving, or sleeping in sync with his little brother. He could imagine not being alone, that Dean was with him but in that moment, he never felt more alone.

Though he would never admit to it as the famous Winchester way was, it was hard to hold back the tears, so he didn't, because he was alone, there was no Dean to make him feel better by teasing him endlessly. There was no father to tell him to man up and shut up, we have work to do. There was no thought of, if they see me like this I'll never hear the end of it, because the bitter truth was that Sam Winchester was alone.

Once he gets to Stanford he'll make these feelings fade, if only for the sake of feeling normal. No one will want to be friends with him if all he does is mope around and feel sorry for himself or rather, sorry to his brother for leaving him with his hard ass father. Sam knows Dean likes the hunt, the danger, the rush of it all, but at the same time, he knows his big brother better than anyone in the entire world, and he knows that somewhere in the back of Dean's mind, there's a want, a need for stability, for a home. But now with his little brother gone who knows if he'll ever feel at home again.

And that thought scares Sam more than anything else.

More than if he'll make friends,

More than if he'll pass every semester,

More than his own damn loneliness because he knows.

He knows his big brother is not just daddy's little soldier. Dean has made it his job to look out for him, to keep Sammy safe and protected everywhere they go because when John put Sam in his arms that night when Mom died he made a promise.

And promises for Dean are like vows, especially when it's his Sammy he's making that promise to.

And though Sam was too young to remember, let alone hear it. He knows that Dean made that vow, that night and every night before and after that tragedy because Dean has been his protector, his hero, for his whole life.

That has been Dean's purpose to keep going.

And now that he's gone.. What will make his brother always keep fighting?

And as Sam lays in that car, trying to get some sleep he knows, Dean will come for him some day and the only question is if he'll go with him.

But he already knows the answer.

 **Thanks so much for reading! I know it was kind of a sad ending but it felt right to end it there. Let me know if that's what you think or perhaps you want a second chapter, I may be up to that.**

 **So what did you think over all? This was my first fanfic on this site so it would be nice to hear some feedback:)**


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